Tuesday, December 20, 2005
back from the bball camp a few days ago..
torturous it may be.. but still endurable..
just that dint manage to sleep soundly for the two nights..
kept tossing and turning..
now i cant get used to sleeping for long hrs..
supposedly to be tired and asleep by now but i'm still wide awake..
had friendly match with the cedar gals at ccab today...
yet another feeling of being useless on court..
dun seem to do anything that can help the team..
recently i kept wondering why i had stayed on..
and i realised that i dunno why.
had another center not been there today, i wldn't have been able to play that much..
but being on court makes me feel like i'm pulling the team down..
hai.. i dunno la..
it feels rather pointless and invisible sometimes..
like whats the point of sacrificing so much time trng when my own improvement is like minimal..
and it's quite impossible to be as good as ppl who have been playin since like four years ago within a year..
but at the same time, being with the team is a nice feeling..
most of them are helpful and understanding and can be really sweet..
it's kind of a different bunch of friends whom i usually mingle with..
perhaps that's cuz we erm go thru 'hardship' tgt?
and there's a common topic to talk abt besides sch stuff and we have a common goal in mind?
goin to sch wld be so monotonous without trng or rather, no life.
sometimes i just wish i was better.